chilli, mud and broken glass

Radio on, glass of red wine, back doors wide open as the rain thrashes against the windows and lightening divides the sky. There’s nothing like a good storm to make you feel cosy and content in your nest. Especially when Paul is upstairs putting the kids to bed – well he hasn’t technically got cancer anymore so he can do some of the manual labour Tee hee!

He’s actually just come down and is about to make some more chilli concoction as I managed to smash the last jar yesterday. Hot chilli and broken glass on the floor as you children run around with frenzied cabin fever is not a good. I actually had to break the self imposed swine flu lock in yesterday as its just too hard being cooped up with kids. I have never been very good at staying so it has been torturous There are only so many things you can do with glue and paint and only so many times you can watch Harry Potter/The Little Mermaid and only so many ways to say “be nice to your brother, stop hitting your sister, please don’t put crayons in your ears” and only so many rooms to hide in…………..

To be honest we are more likely to get swine flu from Paul than the other way round as he has been going in and out of town all week for various appointments and tests at the hospital. He’s been to the dentist (they sort out his dental health to lower the risk of infections) had a lung function test, a kidney function test, MUGA scan (for the heart) and today he met the transplant doctor. They told him today that he wouldn’t be getting the full hardcore ‘Total Body Irradiation’ transplant as initially planned and instead he will be getting a ‘Reduced Intensity Mud Allograft’ . I know I know, it sounds like a treatment at ‘The Sanctuary’….The decision is that because of the past trauma to his lungs, giving him such invasive and aggressive treatment could well finish him off! They don’t mince their words. They weigh up the risks and it has been decided that although there is more risk of the cancer returning with the mud transplant the risk is greater that he would peg it with the other one. Ah the familiar rock and a hard place again, a place Paul and I are very familiar with now.

I was about to try and put in a nutshell-ish what this transplant will entail. But as I sit here I realise I am wading a little too deeply into unknown territory to be properly informative and might start making it up a teensy bit. So will get it straight and then write a technical post. He will be going for another PET scan tomorrow – I guess to asses whether he is still in remission. So fingers crossed everyone, though they can still do a transplant even if there is a small resurgence. Actually one of the doctor’s did say today that even if the cancer did come back after the transplant it wouldn’t be the end of the road and there would be other treatments which is reassuring, but lets hope we never have to cross that bridge…….

Paul has just given me a spoon of hell fire to taste. It is shitting hot as fuck! But has a nice little zip of star anise before it fades to a warm thrum on the lips and tongue. Hmmm the nest is suddenly cosier and just a little warmer…….