Monday, 4 May 2009

Even keels

I hope everyone enjoyed the first bank holiday of the year, got a moment to relax and perhaps snooze for a bit in the sunshine, drink some wine, catch up and wind down….I know I did. God it feels good to bunk off school doesn’t it? That feeling never leaves – the one that sent Cassidy into a frenzy when he realised he didn’t have to go to school today, the one that releases Sunday from a day of dread and Monday from drudgery……..

So things are ticking along on a relatively even keel with Paul. He still hasn’t suffered the terrible nausea he did the first time and he has been given the second part of the Codox (the M bit). It’s given him a sore mouth and water retention so he’s not sleeping brilliantly but nothing he can’t cope with. Though, I am beginning to think that there is little that Mr Stevenson can’t deal with. He’s neutropenic again so I haven’t been in to see him for a few days and probably won’t for at least a week, but we are getting used to the prolonged absences. We’ve set up skype and have got a web cam so hopefully that will provide some sort of replacement to actual physical contact. Being a pen and paper girl it makes me feel all a bit Sci-Fi We are the future!

The plan with Paul’s medication is still the same. If he responds in the way they hope and the way he seems to be to this round then he will get one more blast of chemo then possibly a bone marrow (or stem cell) transplant. Both sisters were tested and neither were a match but it was a one in four chance anyway so pretty slim. If he is in a total remission by around this time next month then can actually grow and plant his own cells back in (this is where it all gets really, really Sci- Fi) because they would be considered healthy enough! If he is in partial remission then they will look for a best match donor. I tell you what I will def be registering myself on one of those list in the near future – it’s sad that it takes something so serious to make you get off your arse and do something so simple but……..

Now you might be all pleased, revolted and also, I hope, a little proud to hear that I have thus far slaughtered 6 mice! Some by sticky pads, some by traps and one with strangulation by my bare hands, well fingers (their necks are so small!) ok so that last bit was in my imagination. How could a vegetarian be so cruel? Easily when mice start shitting in her child’s buggy! Anyway my efforts have seriously depleted the mousley activity but I am still on high alert and will be trying white chocolate tonight. Paul is very; very proud of my efforts so even if I did feel bad (which I don’t) knowing that I am keeping the house vermin free is very rewarding.

This might sound pre-emptive or overly optimistic (is there such a thing?) but over the last couple of weeks or so Paul has seemed so much better than I have seen him since…well I think since before he was in Whipps X in November. It’s ironic that visually he looks sicker than he has ever done, in that classic cancer patient way, no hair, pale pallor etc etc. But he just seems better. It’s almost imperceptible and of course could be all in my head and I do have to remember not to ride the rollercoaster but I love having a snippet of things to come.

Hand P xxxxxx


  1. Mackles, I more proud of your final admission to Skype (video Skype none-other) than I am of the mice. When do I get to see you on Skype? Rocking news about Paulie's strength and into the next part of treatment. I'm thinking of you always. Must talk very soon. Love you all. x x x

  2. Hope you are not on any roller coasters and the even keen continues..roll on summer recovery, just think you can chill in the garden together with beers whilst amazingly clever children make um, things together, like out of water hoses, and um, toilet rolls, and hairdryers.