What a day; full of sunshine, rain, fluffy clouds, lashing wind, spring breezes, pale blue and leaden thunderous skies. A bit like a meteorological analogy of my emotional state!
I think Paul’s skies are a mainly grey and oppressive at the moment. The Chemo is so horrible for him and making him feel so utterly sick. They warn you and give you leaflets to read and tell you it’s inevitable but it doesn’t help when he’s in the middle of it. One of the nurses told us something interesting that she tells her cancer patients when they have gone off food. She said you have to approach it the way you approach taking your medicine; as something you simply have to do. To be honest though, when someone gives you a pep talk like that, especially when you feel that shit, it must be really annoying. She meant well but I’m surprised he didn’t throw his power shake at her.
He was a little better when I went in today though so hopefully there will be moments when he won’t feel so bad. He does have a temperature though and a possible infection of some sort which is almost inevitable considering the Chemo wipes out his immune system. Which is why we both think that it would be best not for him to have any more visits from now on. I know lots of you have been wondering about visitation and it’s just not worth the risk of giving him something that might really set his recovery back. Coupled with the sickness he’s just not up for it right now. I will off course let you all know when he has the all clear
In the meantime I have been thinking that we need a new chant. There was something really powerful and unifying about knowing you were all at some point or another (while jogging, ironing, making tea and during important work meetings so I am told) saying the same mantra. I thought I would throw it open to the floor for suggestions as I can’t think of a really good one that encompasses all things. It needs to be anti Cancer, anti sickness and full of that white light stuff, or something simple like ‘Kaboom’ in the words of Cassidy.
Idon’t know but you can leave comments on this blog so if you have any ideas and let's get one on the go.....
H and P x